Day Two - "Seating a Family of 7" and "Kids Not Listening" Torture

Well, I continue to be amazed by the lack of snow down south of the Canadian border. It really seems like there has been very little of the white stuff here.
Mind you, traveling from Duluth to Minneapolis there were fields of gold, and beautiful fall colors on quite a few trees. I can only presume that the winter came quick and hard last fall and froze everything as it stood. No such freezing when it comes to Minnesota drivers - they quite happily cruise past you at 90miles an hour, talking on their phones and some drivers even texting. Who do they think they are - Jacques Villeneuve? ;) Anyway, apparently it's legal here. But then its also legal for a child aged 14 to own a shotgun in Minnesota...

So, once we were on our way and in our groove on the road (we were barely past the hotel we had just checked out of actually, if truth be told) the 5 unsealed mouths invariably opened, squawking like hungry little sparrows "Feed me, feed me, feed me, feed me!". So we stopped at Taco Bell.
You know, it's quite amazing the number of comments we get when we are out with the kids, "Wow are they all yours?" "What a lovely family!" "So nice to see such a grand family all together". People seem to genuinely enjoy seeing a large family out and about - that is until it comes to seating at restaurants! We first noticed this at Mall of America a few years ago. The food court was packed and tables were at a premium but with some awareness, bigger tables could have been freed by some moving off tables for 4 with their family of one! There was no, "Here have a seat" or "Oh no, you take that large table for your large family" It was a dog eat dog world and invariably smaller families are always quicker than our super-sized family. In a race to the tables with chairs and strollers and kids flung in their wake, the smaller families always won.
Well, remembering that - we got into Taco Bell and as soon as we spied a table big enough I had the kids do whatever it took to hold the table! This was the result.

It's good to note that it was cheaper to feed them at Taco Bell than it had been at McDonald's or the "$5.50 for 3 chicken strips" A&W from yesterday!! But then kids we found out aren't really fans of beans or spicy quesadilla's!

Anyway, once fed enough that they stopped squawking, we got back on our way. They wanted to have movies put on in the car but then they couldn't put up with each other once the movies were on - "I can't hear the movie", "I don't want to watch this movie" "Shhhh" "Why are they talking" "Stop her singing". Ugh! Give me a 148-room hotel to run any day! And no matter how you explain being nice to each other and how the sacrifice of this couple of hours stuffed in a van is worth the days of fun they get in Florida, they still wouldn't listen!
Once we got to the TownePlace Suites in Eagan by the airport (which I have to add have great customer service from Belinda and Alex) we thought we were settled for the night.

Oh no!
That's when the youngest two turned into gremlins. Hide and Seek had to include banging doors and cupboards, then the game turned into soccer with a pair of socks, then wrestling. What's wrong with that you say? Nothing except whenever Marj or I politely asked them to calm down or stop banging the walls, or "Olivia put the TV down" etc etc they wouldn't listen. I've become a big fan of the repeat their name until they notice you have turned into a broken automaton. It's less stressful and less loud and it seems to shock their young sensibilities - "Did Dad really immaturely just call my name over and over without stopping?" they wonder.
Anyway, whatever it is, it usually gets their attention. So I tried it a few times tonight.
"josh. josh, josh. josh. josh." Still not answering. "Josh.Josh. Josh......JOSH.....JOSH@!!!!!"
Olivia. Olivia. OLIVIA@#!!!!! Hello!!!!! Earth to children!

They just don't stop once they get going. This is what I had to do today just to get Josh to stop moving for 5 minutes! Hands on the table and me holding his pyjama bottoms so he would stand still! Don't be fooled by that look of innocence - it has teeth! (but the ears don't work!).

And this is the two of them trying to look all innocent after fighting on their bed. Anyway we are safe in Minneapolis waiting for our flight tomorrow.





 "12 more days left" I keep reminding myself. "Just 12 more days!"

Day One - "I'm hungry" and "Slush" torture.

Day One of my 13 days of torture suitably began on Friday the 13th! For those that don't know, my wife convinced me to take her and the kids on a debt-inducing vacation to see cartoon characters in Orlando. We will be gone for 13 days and my only expectation is torture and more torture.
I do have some hope though. I hope that I may get one day of peace on a gulf coast beach and my unrealistic wish is that I get a chance to either swim with sharks or experience a hurricane.
Here is a picture of the snowman we are leaving behind in the back garden. He is a pretty gloomy looking snowman - maybe he knew the flurry of ice rain, hail and snow that was about to inundate him just as we left Thunder Bay - more of that later. Marj just noted the poop in the garden...I'm sorry I didnt notice. In fact I didnt even know snowmen pooped.
So the family left pretty much after I finished work. We said goodbye to the pets, made our way to Target to pick up some holiday sandals and shoes and then suddenly the first tortuous cry emerged - "Dad I'm hungry!" The words every parent dreads. I cant understand how such small bodies need so much food...soo often!
I can go a whole day working hard and forget to eat but half an hour with these minions and we get the "i'm hungry" guilt trip. How come their hungry mouths dont come with sealable lips so once the food goes in they cant say anything else until you open them up again and shovel the next portion of oatmeal in?
So being the first day of the holiday, we decided to treat them to A&W. BIG MISTAKE!
Did you know $5.50 for 3 chicken strips does NOT include fries and a drink. By the time we had ordered everything for the kids, the bill on the screen was exceeding $50 and the parents hadn't even picked anything to eat yet! We promptly canceled our order and drove off, slowing down enough for me to give one of my disapproving looks to the young and somewhat confused-looking attendant in the drive through. McDonald's may be a lot of things but at least everyone ate for under $50!!
The only problem there was that the overhang on the drive through was positioned just so that any falling slush fell right through our window onto my arm. I'm not sure if anyone has had slushy ice drop on their arm before. It's horrible. It feels like a snowman just threw up on you! And the worst part is it trickling down your arm UNDER your jacket and you can't get to it - you just have to deal with it. Marj thought this was particularly funny.

Anyway we finally got our food and were on our way, slip sliding away - yes driving in unplowed, freshly covered roads of ice, slush and snow. Oh did I mention, Marj forgot to mention she has bald tires on the van. We almost died 3 times.  That is - not we could die 3 times - you can only die once really but there were 3 times on our trip where I actually thought we were going to slide into the ditch.
Once we crossed the border the snow and ice just disappeared. We made it to Duluth and Marj only mentioned speed once...EVERY 2 minutes!
We arrived in Duluth, got a suite at the Days Inn opposite the mall (I'm guaranteeing Marj made the hotel choice based on location). Let me just tell you there is nothing fun about fitting a family of 7 into a room with just enough bed space, pillows and blankets for 6. Josh had some lights he got from his friend at school that he kept flashing in the darkness, Ella felt sick and Josh from out of the silence and concerned, advised her to turn the other way if she needs to throw up. Good advice son, good advice! We eventually got some snooze time in before the kids woke up at 5:30am.
Well here is the crazy family as we took off on my 1st day of torture. I survived with just a slight head ache and a frozen arm. My smile was pre-torture and Olivia was just getting her "word" out to her peeps on the street.